Guppyman

Well… At least it\’s not blogger…..

Cheney and the media….

I have been watching with a strange fascination the media today… They are all in an uproar that the White House didn’t do their job for them and spoon feed them the story about Cheney shooting his hunting buddy. What’s up with that? Does the White House have to inform the media about everything that happens? What ever happened to investigating a story? Is the media so spoiled that they feel that stories should be handed to them and they shouldn’t have to do any work to get the info? Why do they think it’s the story’s job to find them rather than them finding the story?

Anyway- On a lighter note….
I’ve just gotten a memo from Human Resources

Cussing at work

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative “TRY SAYING” phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the f___ you’re doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She’s a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It’s not my f______ problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won’t work.

10) TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f____ didn’t you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I’m on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He’s a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

February 13, 2006 - Posted by | Too Lazy To Catagorize

2 Comments »

  1. lol I will have to try some of these out at work tomorrow🙂

    Comment by PresentStorm | February 13, 2006 | Reply

  2. Excuse me, sir? So you’re not happy with the media coverage? I don’t think you understand. Perhaps you’re not familiar with the issues.

    Comment by Mitey Mite | February 13, 2006 | Reply


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